I shouldn't be here.

I really fucking hate them!

I should just give up sometimes...

I no longer love trust him.

I'm not talking about one of those guys who always seem to break my heart/ I'm talking about the one I was in before I knew myself, the one who grossly carried me until I found my way here. He has finally for the last time betrayed my trust and my love. He can't come back from this anymore. The damage is done. This SHIT only happens in the fucking books and movies. Why does it have to happen to me? Why do I find out from someone that's not him. It seems again that reality has in fact come to bite me in the ass and attack my spirts. Suicide has no life for me, yet Living doesn't either. My hole is coming back to swallow me up, attacking me with the force of despair and pain. I can't  won't  let this continue to break me. I had to draw the final line in crossing me. There is only so much that I can put myself out there before saying '' fine world you win''. I always said that would never happen that I would remain strong no matter what...