The Roller Coaster

 One minute I feel like climbing a mountain,and the next I feel like I just fell down a cliff. I feel like crying sometimes...and then a moment later I wanna jump for joy! I'm not sure if this is in my head ( OH GOD am I crazy???) I never let all the tears come out only slither and drops....never full blown. Yet when I want the tears to come they never do. Why do I just want to drop out a window,why do I have to feel like this?,why  am I the blunt, The black sheep ,the crazy person in the family? Why can't I just be normal like everyone else and just relaxed and not stressed and tensed and hunched over all the time? why can't I just be the person I want to be and not the person that I am?? IT'S NOT FAIR!
.................................................. It's only fair that I feel his love <3...............................................................

It's not fair that I love him and that I don't know if he loves me back. Its not fair that I have to suffer this heavy burden on my back while  he walks free it's not fair I had to grow up with out him.... without his guidance with out his love and his care. It's not fair that I have problems IT's not fair that I'm obsessed with my weight nut I'm scared to throw up. It's scary how I feel these things and only have people who don't take me seriously to tell them too. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!